A Sleepless Night
6Many say, “Who will show us any good?” Yahweh, let the light of your face shine on us. 7You have put gladness in my heart, more than when their grain and their new wine are increased. 8In peace I will both lay myself down and sleep, for you, Yahweh alone, make me live in safety.
This psalm was written for the hour you're in now. David is surrounded by trouble and people asking 'who will show us any good?' — and he answers with an evening ritual: he remembers who put the gladness in his heart, and then he does the bravest thing an anxious person can do. He lies down. 'In peace I will both lay myself down and sleep, for you, Yahweh alone, make me live in safety.' Not 'when the problems are solved, I will sleep' — tonight, in the middle of them. Sleep is an act of trust: the world will have to turn without your supervision until morning. It managed before you; it is managed still.
What are you staying awake to guard — and can you name the one who stays awake so you don't have to?
God, it's late, and I'm still here — eyes open, mind circling. The day is finished but I keep editing it, and tomorrow hasn't started but I keep rehearsing it. You told David he could lie down in the middle of trouble because you alone keep him safe. I want that kind of lying down. Take the watch from me — the replaying, the pre-living, the list. Let my breathing slow. Let the bed hold me the way your hands hold the night. And if sleep still won't come, then keep me company in the quiet instead, until the window turns pale. Amen.